When I Want to Break Away

There is a restlessness around here.  I hate it because it's the antithesis of contentment.  Contentment with godliness is great gain.... I believe it.  I know it to be true.  But what do you do when it slips from your grasp?

Two things I do.  Remember I am not made for this world.  It cannot satisfy my longings.  It will never be enough.  Grasping for more of it does not get me closer to any arrival.  In Kingdom speak:  this is not my home.  I'm here on assignment and I'm a gypsy.  To try to shed my cloak of otherworldly oddity would not only be futile, but very disappointing.   Because, underneath the cloak, I'm still a gypsy.  This place doesn't have what I'm looking for.  No need to pretend it does.

But then, sometimes it does have what I am looking for.  When I look for Him, I can find Him.  Even here.
He is here.  He is here on assignment, too.  I'm part of His clan, and He gives His own special powers.... yes supernaturally special powers.  And so the second thing I do in my restlessness?

By His power I see, hear, taste and know.

Ears to hear and eyes to see--both are gifts from the LORD. Proverbs 20:12 Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34:8A and    more counting: Good Friday worship all in black... falling out of sight, out of notice for the cross set before us with roses red hammered violent into the rough wood like the Rose of Sharon and there we received body and blood and we remembered as the hammer fell,  we remembered so we will not forget warmth out-of-doors sun on skin shoulders dropping short sleeves kids playing... really playing  a screen-less day home-made chili and cornbread made by 9 year old hands Coach Ally at dinner, because the boy and girl invited her to come and she did sharing Easter lunch at Famous Dave's with friends congregating at a park with friends, kids and dogs friendly chats with strangers sitting at table communing with good friends 'leftover friends':  friends you can eat left-overs with sharing troubles, thoughts, dreams and possibilities cross and candle put away but not forgotten yellow tulips on the table the boy baking brownies living resurrection life because we can because He did. He is Risen Indeed!

Radical Is as Radical Does

In my small corner of the world my friends and I are reading Radical by David Platt.  We sit at Sunday's table with Orange bound books and our myriad of Bible translations.... reading and re-reading passages of scripture, making confession as we go.   As we probe deeper, we nervously exchange glances with each other... the wind in our sails exhaled, we are all waiting for one of us to say it ... to let us all off the hook.. "it doesn't really mean what he says it means".  But no one does.  One sister fidgets in her seat, while a brother grimaces,  looking down at his fingers smoothing the pages of his well worn Bible.  I glance at the clock and reach for my paper cup of free-trade coffee gone cold.  Luke-warm bitterness that should've been hot.  Huh.  I'm reminded of someone.  I make my confession.  I really didn't know I had lived so many years on the wrong side of a paradigm shift.

"So you cannot be my disciple without giving up everything you own"    - Jesus I've read that before.  I've read it and went on to chase my material dreams.  I've loved Jesus most of my life... really loved Him.  Somehow I thought sacrifice was washing dishes, folding laundry and schooling little minds.  I was sacrificing b/c after all, I couldn't just go out to lunch or coffee on a whim, like some of my friends could.  Somehow, I confused the freedom to manage my own time, and spend hours each day with my family, and sit on my overstuffed couch, and walk my dog through my upper-middle-class neighborhood, and worship in community within a mile of my house, and drink free-trade coffee out of paper cups as sacrifice. I am reminded of the anti-drug commercial... the one with the egg.... "this is your brain", and then the fried egg.... "this is your brain on drugs".  And I think my brain is fried.  Really.  I picture a plate of scrambled eggs.... "this is your brain on stuff". How is it possible to have read Jesus' words as many times as I have and still be so clueless?  Some might read that question and think,... "well, she must not really know Jesus", as they ponder my words from their own La-Z-Boy recliner. And then..... maybe someone else will read those words... someone who 'gets it' like I haven't.... and say, "I'm going to pray for her and her friends". I do love Jesus and I do not know what I'm going to do about it.  But I know there is no condemnation in Christ.... I don't know what being faithful will look like tomorrow.... only what it is right now. If your curiosity is piqued... please go google some people like David Platt, Francis Chan, Katie Davis, Ken Wystma.... a few names out of many who are learning that radical is as radical does. But make sure you're really interested.... maybe ready is more like it.  It's a dangerous thing to hear the truth and shrug your shoulders and decide to do nothing.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it'd be better to be ignorant. And if you are reading this and you are further along in your following-Jesus- journey than I am.... will you pray for me and my friends?   We really need it. And now counting from my abundance of blessings..... the sight of my children's heads bobbing as they run off to basketball practice every morning I wake to a day to be spent with them the kiss I get from my love each morning finally learning the purpose of fitness water listening to the heart of my Persian friend him sharing so openly understanding him better Wednesday mornings with Patti His grace in my failure His mercy a new friend on Sunday providentially finding us?