Monday, October 31, 2011

Bless This Mess

I've been one to pride myself on a well-kept home.  I like shiny sinks and floors and dusted baseboards.  Clutter makes me nervous and agitated.... ok, maybe it doesn't make me that way, but that's how I feel when I am in the midst of it.
While I have never white-glove tested anyone's home, I've certainly passed my fair share of judgement on the housekeeping skills of others.  Somehow along the way I've developed this weird way of thinking that the best kind of house is the kind that looks like no one lives in it!  Where all the personal 'messes' of it's inhabitants are well hidden from public view.  You can know me, but not by my mess.
I don't know why.
  I could psychoanalyze it and say it has something do with poor self-esteem or unrealized self-actualization or some other nonsense, but I think I'll leave the 'why' alone.  Actually I am under the care of an awesome Doctor.... a Great Physician.  He takes care of the why... or I guess you could say He took care of it a long time ago.  So I have a sickness, yes, but He's got me on the best treatment plan.  In fact, His cure-rate is 100%.

Living, real living, is messy.  He shapes, kneads, sculpts.... chisels us with His hands..... He does this with our lives, by His hands, and it is messy.
But what a beautiful mess.
It turns out the Great Doctor is a Master Craftsman as well.  An artist like no other.
In our lifetimes we will discover, through His unveiling, the most amazing treasures.

I've been thinking about this, these past few weeks.  I'm starting to see things differently.  Did you know jelly jars make the best bug catchers?  Stair landings are perfect places to proudly display legos.  Kitchen counters are the best place to line with fresh ripening harvest.  Collected leaves make great centerpieces. Stacks of music and piano benches askew beckon merry music makers.  Muddy footprints on not-so-shiny floors remind us of latest travels and seasons changed.
Yes, I'm starting to see things differently, and I don't want to trade any more minutes, that belong to creating, for cleaning.

And now counting in the thousands.....

pumpkin creations made with small hands

a beautiful mess with purpose, always there's a purpose...

sister, brother, tape, paper and markers

signs of life

a generous gift, a happy memory, an inspiration


what duty looks like

the barely there,  outdoorsy puppy-ish scent I smell when I kiss the top of his muzzle between his eyes

watching my girl do math

my boy's fingers dancing up and down the keyboard with skill I've only ever dreamed of having

my love finding an Italian chess board treasure at a yard sale
the many games played on it

the memory of my girl perched on the kitchen counter with pumpkin propped between her knees as she carefully carved the details of her canine creation

harvesting, rinsing, salting, roasting pumpkin seeds

my love spoiling me with decadent treats
him being generous with hugs and kisses
how we so often think the same thought,
fold our hands the same way
how we make tradition together

how he does his fathering

long walks on cold, sunny mornings
light showers filtered through afternoon sun

a brother on the mend
family meetings on skype

finding answers in the Word
Jesus' words
how they are printed red in my Bible
how that visual speaks so, so much to me

a new lesson I learned about reinventing the wheel....

Monday, October 10, 2011

1,002 and counting

I am thankful for streams of consciousness that sift through the wrong to find the Right
I am thankful that as the Bride changes, her Husband never will.

I am thankful to wake in happy contentment from sweet dreams that echo my waking reality

I am thankful that one of my first stops this morning was here
I am thankful that she sees what I need to, 
and she helps me to see it too

Monday, October 3, 2011

The reach that's not a reach

It's taken me a long time to get to 1,000 gifts.  Not because my counting is slow (though sometimes it is), but because I'm too often blinded and deafened to His goodness.... how really, really, good He is.

Perhaps some are gifted with the ability to see His wonders right down to the seemingly inconsequential, but I think for most it comes from training the brain to engage,  and the body to respond.

Last night, amongst dear brothers and sisters, my friend asked about rewards in heaven.  Some talked about jewels in crowns and such.  I don't know how all that works, so I didn't have a lot to add.  What I thought about is how I know His rewards from living in His kingdom now.  How can a crown filled with emeralds and rubies compete with knowing Him now?

His mercies are new every morning.  He recycles much goodness back to me, and my reach for counting up to 1,000?  It's taken me over a year, but it's been no reach.  He gives me that and more in a single day.

Gifts #982-1,001

using stuff you kept, but didn't think you would use again

stories from my sister of Holy Spirit moving and calling and using her in the process

a gas fireplace that can warm a cold morning
lit candles on dark, rainy nights

a brother not scared to share his heart
listening ears

soy milk creamer

watching my girl stroking and kicking down the lap lane
the look of her sweet gap-toothed smile and goggles
the way she takes initiative
how every weekday morning I wake to her next to me, because
her daddy put her there
like he's done since she was a babe
how things change
how some things don't

the way my boy kicks up his left leg before swinging
him getting a base hit
coming across home twice
how he tries twice as hard and is ten times more excited
the smile on his face that came from his heart

holy experience