Monday Morning Quarterback

Today, I'm the Monday Morning Quarterback... calling the plays from the weekend as they should have been,  not necessarily as they were.  It's easy to see in hindsight what you would have done differently.  It's another thing altogether to live each moment to Him, and with no regret.  

How is it we can make such mountains out of molehills, and yet the places most in need of our consideration lay fallow?  

Fallow ground waiting for seeds of life.  It takes intentionality and discipline to grow a garden of fruit.  Conversely, a patch of weeds needs little more than looking the other way.  

And so yesterday I sang a song about Jesus taking the wheel.  

Pastor preached about addictions and bitter roots....

of which I thought I had none....

but maybe...

there are some.

Yet, even before he preached it

I knew He would preach to me.

Even before I sang it, 

I knew the song was for me.

"Jesus, take the wheel

take it from my hands

cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go

so give me one more chance

save me from this road I'm on"

And isn't this the anthem for us all?

What a day it is, when we wake up and realize that the sermon is for us, and that Jesus, in His Word.... He is speaking to us, 

not someone else.

He speaks to me about my need.

Why would He concern me with someone else's?

So, Jesus take the wheel.

Not from her or him or them....

from me.

And I'm thankful for:

sickness that doesn't last, but gives way to

health

simplicity

scripture

prayers being heard

story times

minds learning

healing

friends to wrestle with the hard truths of scripture 

how scripture is so powerful to shape us, and even our hopes for the future

how the Hold Spirit meets our every need, not in a far-off-in-the-clouds way, but

indwelling us, bringing us the salve, the instruction, the wisdom to the very core of where we need it and in every moment of our need.

how that is amazing

With small voice

These last weeks have brought with them a hurricane of thought and conviction... even some worry and dread.  Oh, we are fine.  Physically we have more than we can use or need.  But burden's transport travels in more than one direction.
So with small and quiet voice today, because I'm tired, here is some of the "much" that we have to be thankful for:

my sweet mother's birthday

a chance to celebrate His good work

a new friend taking me under her wing

how nice it is to be under someone's wing

how He is always there, even in the midst of confusion

growing children

hope for today

hope for tomorrow

that, yes, His grace is sufficient.

It's late... but not too late to celebrate!

What a wonderful world!  Truly.  We are so very blessed by the amazing creation all around us.  Even in the deadness of winter, His heart sings to us.... even in the silent stillness of cold night falling in early hours.

I have been reflecting on 2011:  The Year of Practice for me.  Ann Voskamp writes of do-overs.  Yes, I suppose I could use a do-over... if that's the way it worked.  But she and I both know, that isn't how it's intended to be.  Perfection isn't expected on this side of things.... at least not as it relates to the high ideals of communion, thanksgiving, intentionality, and yes... even practice.  We can perfect our execution of a math equation, we don't perfect our soul.  That is squarely His territory.  So I will continue to "practice" as I set out in 2011 to practice such things as kindness and thoughtfulness and prayerfulness.  But as themes go, it's time to move on.

Here, in 2012, my family and I are going to give some intentional thought and consideration to what and how we create.  We do so much of this without even really thinking about it.  I wonder what will happen if we slow down and pay some better attention to detail.  What might it be like to dream up a vision of something and teach our head and hands how to make it reality?  I'll confess that, in part, this idea was born out of my own struggle with and journey toward finding and celebrating true beauty.  I see and hear SO many conflicting messages about beauty.  I have heard countless victims (mostly female) of our current youth culture bemoan the fact that they are "less than", "not enough", "too fat, too light, too dark, too short, too tall, too freckled, too wrinkled, too pimpled, too stringy, too frumpy...."  just too much of all the wrong things and so they are just simply... not enough.

How this saddens me.  And I've been there.... I've lived in that place of "not enough".  I know whereof I speak, so I can't be fooled.  Everyone gets their wake-up call in a different time and place.  For me, it has come with having children and wanting more for them than I used to accept for myself.  What I now know about my value in Christ... I want them to know now.   Self-loathing is the stuff of fools.  It's the easy trap of our enemy and we foolishly take the bait.  There is no upside to it.  It is.... an....utter... waste of time.  The learning doesn't come in the loathing.  It comes in the waking up.
 The devil is no teacher, my friends.

So why a Year to Create?  Because it is about how we reflect our Creator, the Beautiful One.  What will happen when we are more about what we produce, than what we consume?  More about what we give than what we take?

My hypothesis is that there is life and living and fruitfulness in this.  I invite you to come over to our family's new blog:  Imagination Nexus.  Just click the button below and take some time to see, will you join us this year?


l"/>


And now, counting with Ann and the Gratitude Community:

Shopping dates with my love

Lights, lights, lights!

My daddy singing at the table

holding his hand in church

his prayers and exhortations

My mom cooking with me

the way we laugh together

her reading to us from this book.

Being together.

The house at night

calls from sisters

birthday fun

middle-eastern food

Persian friends

a friend who loves at all times

a taste of liberation

This message of not one resolution, but 10,000 instead

and how that fits... just right.

Counting Gifts

Like most folks, we've been busy this time of year.  Fun busy.  And though I am tempted to go on about this day, I will pause long enough to reflect here on a few of the many gifts from the passing of these days.

Our boy and girl the night of their Christmas concert at Our Lady of the Lake

how grown and handsome looking he was

seeing him do well at something I didn't even think he would try

her focus and her joy and her sparkle

My love coming up with a Stay-cation list for us

his planning and driving and doing and smiling

the Christmas wonderland at the Grotto's Festival of Lights

the gospel gently spoken through speakers along

paths lit with luminaries

hundreds of thousands of twinkling lights

nativity

candles representing lifted prayers

the aromas of barnyard animals and churros y chocolate

the decorum and reverence of a Catholic chapel

evangelical indeed

My love calling this Christmas his favorite

our littles stating, 'but Christmas isn't here yet"

he and I saying, "ah, but it's advent"

Christmas is here

the joy in giving

the anticipation of this advent week

I won't reinvent the wheel...

and neither will you.

I gave thanks for this fact last week.  A brother asked for the back-story, and you know I'm happy to oblige, so...

I read a lot and contemplate even more.  I read the stuff of thinkers, contemplators like me.  People like us  think we're going to stumble upon some great secret of the universe, secrets we are, of course, morally bound to share with the commonality.
These so enlightened have written the books that teach all things from 'new math' to how to listen to music or look at art.  They teach there's a right way to feed a baby, organize a closet, eat food (or not eat it), love your familiy and be nice to strangers.  If you read them, and really get them, you'll be happier, smarter and more generous.
Yeah, everyone's after a formula for perfection, and just as many are happy to sell one.

I always read with an open mind but, not being one to fall for snake oil, I never worried about being unduly influenced.  I figure it's likely someone has unlocked some truth in a way I haven't.  But lately, I've been unlocking another kind of truth... at least as it pertains to all that is really true,  it's all been said before.  All this stuff I read.  It's not dejavu, it's not that I'm smart, it's that Someone Else already figured it out and wrote it down, or passed it along some other way.  We've all been beaten to the punch, we thinkers.

Turns out if you want to be good at math, you have to do math.  Wanna be a great piano player?  Practice makes perfect, yes it does, and lots of it.  It's easier to keep stuff in order if you have less stuff to keep in order.  If you eat too much, you'll get fat... especially stuff like Twinkies.  God didn't make Twinkies.  Babies need to eat and it's good to hold them.  We don't need a lot of stuff to be happy.  We should give more than we do.
 What's worth doing is hard to do, and it only gets done by doing it.

And then there's this:
"whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement"
"whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery"
"let your 'Yes' be 'Yes', and your 'No', 'No'.  For whatever is more than these is from the evil one."
"if anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also."
"give to him who asks you , and from him who wants to borrow form you do not turn away."
"love your enemies"
"do good to those that hate you"
"when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing"
"when you pray go into your room, and when you shut your door, pray to your Father... in secret"
"if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you"
"when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face"
"where your treasure is there your heart will be"
"no one can serve two masters"
"do not worry about your life"
"do not worry about tomorrow"
"judge not"
"narrow is the gate"
"difficult is the way"
"every good tree bears good fruit"

The words in red.  There's more where that came from, I just gave a sampling.  If I read the red...

What more is there, really?

Someone invented the wheel.  It's perfectly round with perfect spokes.  It's.... perfection.  It cannot be improved upon.  We can talk about that wheel, sure, but it's not in need of any re-design.  It's fine to use new words to talk about that wheel, so long as the new words are, in fact, describing the wheel.  A wheel is a wheel.  It gets reproduced yes, but not reinvented.  As long as it's made from the original design and model, it'll roll.
So that's the story.  Radical?  Yes.  New?
Not a chance.

and still counting in the thousands...

free, simple devotional thoughts and prayers

kids learning the discipline of devotion

the only tangible connection I have to my aunt

remembering when she made it and gave it to me
wondering if I can do like she did

potential

an old habit, new to him

flickering white gold

best seat in the house

oh, how it does... 

love does

school on Sunday, but not Sunday School

learning together

reinventing?  no, but inspiring, yes!

Thank You Lord for this and so, so much more.  Thank You, O Magnificent One, Creator of all, our great and wonderful Inventor!

Bless This Mess

I've been one to pride myself on a well-kept home.  I like shiny sinks and floors and dusted baseboards.  Clutter makes me nervous and agitated.... ok, maybe it doesn't make me that way, but that's how I feel when I am in the midst of it.
While I have never white-glove tested anyone's home, I've certainly passed my fair share of judgement on the housekeeping skills of others.  Somehow along the way I've developed this weird way of thinking that the best kind of house is the kind that looks like no one lives in it!  Where all the personal 'messes' of it's inhabitants are well hidden from public view.  You can know me, but not by my mess.
I don't know why.
  I could psychoanalyze it and say it has something do with poor self-esteem or unrealized self-actualization or some other nonsense, but I think I'll leave the 'why' alone.  Actually I am under the care of an awesome Doctor.... a Great Physician.  He takes care of the why... or I guess you could say He took care of it a long time ago.  So I have a sickness, yes, but He's got me on the best treatment plan.  In fact, His cure-rate is 100%.

Living, real living, is messy.  He shapes, kneads, sculpts.... chisels us with His hands..... He does this with our lives, by His hands, and it is messy.
But what a beautiful mess.
It turns out the Great Doctor is a Master Craftsman as well.  An artist like no other.
In our lifetimes we will discover, through His unveiling, the most amazing treasures.

I've been thinking about this, these past few weeks.  I'm starting to see things differently.  Did you know jelly jars make the best bug catchers?  Stair landings are perfect places to proudly display legos.  Kitchen counters are the best place to line with fresh ripening harvest.  Collected leaves make great centerpieces. Stacks of music and piano benches askew beckon merry music makers.  Muddy footprints on not-so-shiny floors remind us of latest travels and seasons changed.
Yes, I'm starting to see things differently, and I don't want to trade any more minutes, that belong to creating, for cleaning.

And now counting in the thousands.....

pumpkin creations made with small hands

a beautiful mess with purpose, always there's a purpose...

sister, brother, tape, paper and markers

signs of life

a generous gift, a happy memory, an inspiration

a WELL WORTH IT read

what duty looks like

the barely there,  outdoorsy puppy-ish scent I smell when I kiss the top of his muzzle between his eyes

watching my girl do math

my boy's fingers dancing up and down the keyboard with skill I've only ever dreamed of having

my love finding an Italian chess board treasure at a yard sale

the many games played on it

the memory of my girl perched on the kitchen counter with pumpkin propped between her knees as she carefully carved the details of her canine creation

harvesting, rinsing, salting, roasting pumpkin seeds

my love spoiling me with decadent treats

him being generous with hugs and kisses

how we so often think the same thought,

fold our hands the same way

how we make tradition together

how he does his fathering

long walks on cold, sunny mornings

light showers filtered through afternoon sun

a brother on the mend

family meetings on skype

finding answers in the Word

Jesus' words

how they are printed red in my Bible

how that visual speaks so, so much to me

a new lesson I learned about reinventing the wheel....

don't.

1,002 and counting

I am thankful for streams of consciousness that sift through the wrong to find the Right

I am thankful that as the Bride changes, her Husband never will.

I am thankful to wake in happy contentment from sweet dreams that echo my waking reality

I am thankful that one of my first stops this morning was here

I am thankful that she sees what I need to, 

and she helps me to see it too