Bless This Mess

I've been one to pride myself on a well-kept home.  I like shiny sinks and floors and dusted baseboards.  Clutter makes me nervous and agitated.... ok, maybe it doesn't make me that way, but that's how I feel when I am in the midst of it.
While I have never white-glove tested anyone's home, I've certainly passed my fair share of judgement on the housekeeping skills of others.  Somehow along the way I've developed this weird way of thinking that the best kind of house is the kind that looks like no one lives in it!  Where all the personal 'messes' of it's inhabitants are well hidden from public view.  You can know me, but not by my mess.
I don't know why.
  I could psychoanalyze it and say it has something do with poor self-esteem or unrealized self-actualization or some other nonsense, but I think I'll leave the 'why' alone.  Actually I am under the care of an awesome Doctor.... a Great Physician.  He takes care of the why... or I guess you could say He took care of it a long time ago.  So I have a sickness, yes, but He's got me on the best treatment plan.  In fact, His cure-rate is 100%.

Living, real living, is messy.  He shapes, kneads, sculpts.... chisels us with His hands..... He does this with our lives, by His hands, and it is messy.
But what a beautiful mess.
It turns out the Great Doctor is a Master Craftsman as well.  An artist like no other.
In our lifetimes we will discover, through His unveiling, the most amazing treasures.

I've been thinking about this, these past few weeks.  I'm starting to see things differently.  Did you know jelly jars make the best bug catchers?  Stair landings are perfect places to proudly display legos.  Kitchen counters are the best place to line with fresh ripening harvest.  Collected leaves make great centerpieces. Stacks of music and piano benches askew beckon merry music makers.  Muddy footprints on not-so-shiny floors remind us of latest travels and seasons changed.
Yes, I'm starting to see things differently, and I don't want to trade any more minutes, that belong to creating, for cleaning.

And now counting in the thousands.....

pumpkin creations made with small hands

a beautiful mess with purpose, always there's a purpose...

sister, brother, tape, paper and markers

signs of life

a generous gift, a happy memory, an inspiration

a WELL WORTH IT read

what duty looks like

the barely there,  outdoorsy puppy-ish scent I smell when I kiss the top of his muzzle between his eyes

watching my girl do math

my boy's fingers dancing up and down the keyboard with skill I've only ever dreamed of having

my love finding an Italian chess board treasure at a yard sale

the many games played on it

the memory of my girl perched on the kitchen counter with pumpkin propped between her knees as she carefully carved the details of her canine creation

harvesting, rinsing, salting, roasting pumpkin seeds

my love spoiling me with decadent treats

him being generous with hugs and kisses

how we so often think the same thought,

fold our hands the same way

how we make tradition together

how he does his fathering

long walks on cold, sunny mornings

light showers filtered through afternoon sun

a brother on the mend

family meetings on skype

finding answers in the Word

Jesus' words

how they are printed red in my Bible

how that visual speaks so, so much to me

a new lesson I learned about reinventing the wheel....

don't.

1,002 and counting

I am thankful for streams of consciousness that sift through the wrong to find the Right

I am thankful that as the Bride changes, her Husband never will.

I am thankful to wake in happy contentment from sweet dreams that echo my waking reality

I am thankful that one of my first stops this morning was here

I am thankful that she sees what I need to, 

and she helps me to see it too

The reach that's not a reach

It's taken me a long time to get to 1,000 gifts.  Not because my counting is slow (though sometimes it is), but because I'm too often blinded and deafened to His goodness.... how really, really, good He is.

Perhaps some are gifted with the ability to see His wonders right down to the seemingly inconsequential, but I think for most it comes from training the brain to engage,  and the body to respond.

Last night, amongst dear brothers and sisters, my friend asked about rewards in heaven.  Some talked about jewels in crowns and such.  I don't know how all that works, so I didn't have a lot to add.  What I thought about is how I know His rewards from living in His kingdom now.  How can a crown filled with emeralds and rubies compete with knowing Him now?

His mercies are new every morning.  He recycles much goodness back to me, and my reach for counting up to 1,000?  It's taken me over a year, but it's been no reach.  He gives me that and more in a single day.

Gifts #982-1,001

using stuff you kept, but didn't think you would use again

stories from my sister of Holy Spirit moving and calling and using her in the process

a gas fireplace that can warm a cold morning

lit candles on dark, rainy nights

a brother not scared to share his heart

listening ears

soy milk creamer

watching my girl stroking and kicking down the lap lane

the look of her sweet gap-toothed smile and goggles

the way she takes initiative

how every weekday morning I wake to her next to me, because

her daddy put her there

like he's done since she was a babe

how things change

how some things don't

the way my boy kicks up his left leg before swinging

him getting a base hit

coming across home twice

how he tries twice as hard and is ten times more excited

the smile on his face that came from his heart

Changing

The atmosphere outside the door is almost magical

a rarely mixed batch of wind and warmth

the sun shooting through leaves still holding green

October winds ushering out September breezes

as inside the cocoon 

this place is in metamorphosis 

Twenty degrees of heat will be lost by Saturday
clouds will cover sweater- bound citizens
and rain will wash under our boots

But today dry winds muss our hair and sun kisses our arms
And He smiles on us as

He changes us too.

An Ordered Life

This Labor Day marks the beginning of a new season for me and mine.  With my two littles now in 4th and 6th grade, schooled at home, I am having to change some ways.  I don't think anyone would think of me as a disorderly person.  Heck, there are some who actually have been fooled into thinking I'm quite organized!  But order, especially of the strict variety,  has never been a strong point of mine... or frankly even something I ever wanted in my life.  Still, as I look ahead to this school year, I can recognize that without daily order, what used to be carefree, unencumbered living becomes captivity to fancy and whim.  Even though I do so enjoy fancy and whim, I just as much dislike captivity.

In the vein of ministering peace unto my family (and myself!), I have scoured toilets, laundered sheets, scrubbed floors, vacuumed carpets, dusted furniture, planned meals, stocked the pantry, made lists, scheduled lessons, placed holds on books, readied binders, sharpened pencils,  marked the calendar, bathed the dog and cleaned the van.
And prayed.
Inspired by a constant conversation I read about, I purposed to also walk in thanksgiving through these preparations.  Let me tell you, what joy!  What freedom!  Scrubbing a toilet has never been so gratifying.
Yes, Tuesday we will enter into our books and studies.  We will have done what we could to make ourselves ready, and we will turn unencumbered open hearts and minds to Him who teaches us all things.
In this may we learn thankfulness.

Counting now from His infinite graces to me and mine...
#966-981

the last roses of summer

neighboring mercy

gathering to celebrate friendship

a really good day planner

making dinner out of odds and ends

a no turned yes

warm breezes

bare feet

hair clips

being a woman

thoughts of wood and yarn and music

sentence prayers

Robert Farrar Capon talking about an onion

my crucifix, because

it wasn't the tree that saved me

it was the Man on the tree

Thinking on His goodness, and counting....949-965

The Lord's goodness is astounding to me.  He so lavishly loves me.  I am overwhelmed by it..... when I take in His perfection in the sight of massive Oregonian trees, or find myself swaying to soulful sounds of country folk music, or the feel of my son's hand in mine, or..........

the way her lashes curl

her infectious giggle

how he crinkles his nose when he laughs

a dark morning

books, books, books

how our house is such an imperfect mess

hot, sunny summer days

a cool lake nestled in the mountain

kids and craw-daddies

watching our pup swim like a fish, doing what he was born to do, and

loving it

free online planners

praying with her over the miles

heart-to-hearts with my girl

loving him

turning over at night and seeing his still, sleeping form

feeling my own smile

Counting the gifts #896-948

painted toes, peasant skirts and toe rings

that rules can be fun!

these reminders:

 "extreme soul makeover" does not exist

it's a process

that's the way He likes it

God the Father is really more loving

more concerned

more generous

more fair

wiser

gentler

kinder

smarter

more in tune

more reasonable

a better listener

friendlier.....     

than I am.

really.

hugs and kisses from my love

his words of kindness and admiration

how so many of my life's dreams have come true with him by my side

summer evening walks, holding hands

that she came and brought her three precious others

the walks and talks

the fun we had

breathing the same air

sharing the same space

a luxury

the way she takes pictures

how my pup loved her like he's always known her

the way a dog can just know

telling her my secrets 

the ones you don't tell anyone else

the ones only she would care to know

how He is her bottom line

in everything

always.

a few favorite memories:

And this just last night:

our boy sharing a difficulty

getting to be mama and daddy with listening ears

mama kisses smoothing the brow

daddy words soothing the mind

him being thankful, and, us even more so