Gifts from Heaven... 184-208

I am supremely thankful for the opportunity to record these....

sleeping kids
quiet house

sunshine
cool air
abundant growth
having a little animal-baby that forces me out-of-doors often into God's wonderland

my son growing in knowledge, maturity and stature

my girl and the wonderful girlish mystery about her

dirty feet... the evidence of good and adventurous play

being and feeling content

being able to try again

having my love hold my hand unexpectedly

watching him fall in love with a puppy

excitement about a new school year

a good sermon

an island adventure awaiting us

having dinner out alone with my son
knowing it meant a lot to him that we did that

the peace of my home
the health of my children, husband and me

watching my daughter run across the church to embrace her old Sunday School teacher during welcome time
knowing that woman sowed into her life with sincerity, love and truth

that I could sit here all day and write things like this
that I get to move on from here

Some blessings.... #167-183

wanting to manage my home
being equipped to do it

the good business practices of a 10 year old
the daddy that teaches him those practices
the people he blessed with his lemonade
the people that blessed him back with their kindness and change

a puppy of our very own
his gentleness
his ability to attach despite his murky past
that even though he's naughty, he wants to please ;>

the little 'cuddle monster' that lavishes us with her love

friends that asked to watch our children one fine Sunday... 'just because'

watching my friend share Jesus' love with her little Iraqi friend

two new little pups for my friend 'Moonshine'
how they make her smile

despite physical silence, knowing I am well loved from 3,000 miles away

that running out of time translates to having more time.

The gifts....#148-166

time exploring with my family

flexibility
hope
having enough

quiet

carpet deodorizer
Pinesol

parks

comfy chairs
Saturday nights
late sunsets

dogs

cuddling

beauty that surrounds me

sleeping kids

people who have a lot of stuff figured out
people who don't

old men who preach

limits

Discretion, Circumspection and Plain Old Prudence

1The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2for attaining wisdom and discipline;
for understanding words of insight;
3for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,
doing what is right and just and fair;
4for giving prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young—
5let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance—
Proverbs 1:1-5


Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
Proverbs 11:22

I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence;
I possess knowledge and discretion.
Proverbs 8:12



As I've been pondering the place of boundaries in my life, the topic of discretion now presents itself.

I realize that much of the hurt and disillusionment I am experiencing with some of the human relationships in my life have come about due to a lack of prudence on my part.
You see, I am good at keeping other people's secrets, but I am bad at keeping my own.

I'm not sure why this is. I could chalk it up to talking too much, but I think it's more than that. It's that needing approval thing again. I think.

I am eager to share my heart with others and be affirmed.

Also, I always liked the idea that with me, people know what they are getting. I don't hide stuff or play mind games with people. What you see is what you get, sort-of-thing.

But sometimes I assume someone is interested in my heart when they really aren't.

Halfway through explaining some great idea I had or something new I learned, I notice the person I am talking to, their eyes are glazing over and they have a kind of plastic smile that looks very polite.... and I am wrecked.
I realize I trusted something precious, a piece of me, to someone who really could care less (even if they are someone who seemingly should care more).


Jesus said,
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Matthew 7:6

Specifically, Jesus is talking about sharing the gospel with combatant non-believers, but I think a similar application could be made regarding sharing something very precious with someone who is unable to have any appreciation for it.


I'm still not sure how to have healthy boundaries without becoming overly self-aware or come off as snobbish or distant. I know there is a balance somewhere in all that.

What I do know, is that some people simply are not 'safe'. And there are matters of the heart and soul that are private.

It's not melodramatic or melancholy, it just is what it is.

Proverbs 4:23 instructs:

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Sometimes I think we can share our heart and still guard it by keeping a tight check on our expectations. And then sometimes, I think we just need to keep our mouths shut. :)

I'll be "shutting up" and tuning out this coming month, with the exception of keeping my gratitude list going on Mondays (the Gratitude Community has been a wonderful accountability tool!).

Perhaps I will find that silence is golden!




Kara

#129-147

arriving home safely
our own beds

a house in order

friends who help
friends who understand

watching my children play
watching one do for the other in secret

international long distance calling
skype

a new friend (we prayed for her!) for my dear friend Michelle

kindness from strangers

being comfortable in my own skin

asking for His help and getting it

finding out it's OK to say no

learning to save and savor 'yes'

saying yes to my LORD
saying yes to my Love
saying yes to my Littles

the promise of August

Life in Soft Focus

No matter how crystal-clear any given 'something' may seem to us, almost all of life is seen in soft focus.

Sometimes this is because of the layers upon layers of personal histories and evolutions that have been heaped a top of each other over years, decades, even centuries. All of the differing ways man has drummed up, since the beginning of time, to explain the unexplainable. One lens placed in front of another, and then another... on and on. We can't even know the real sharpness of Truth. The times we are gifted with such acuity leave us bleeding.
The Truth cuts as the Sword passes through.

Apart from Grace there is no way to survive it.


I started thinking about this in my process of choosing what books I will use to teach my kids. I have searched and searched for the books that will tell it like it really is. The history book with no revisions, no agenda on either side of any debate. The science book with just the facts, thank-you-ma'am.

You are laughing right now. I'll bet you are! You are either laughing because you 'know' you have those books on your own shelf (and anyways, what good Christian doesn't know the truth when she sees it?), or you are laughing because you know that such books do not exist.

If that was the end of the story then either case would be cause for great despair.

But there is Grace.

His name is Jehovah Jireh and He provides.

He gives us the Truth as we can handle it. As it is, we cannot handle all of it.... perhaps we cannot handle much of it at all. Because we can not handle Him. And where is the boundary between God and Truth? Where does One begin and the Other end?

But His Word is the Truth! you say.
Yes, it most certainly is. And how are you handling that? Do you have it all figured out? If you say yes, the conversation ends. I simply don't believe you.

His word is Truth, but not all of it. Sola Scriptura has it's limitations. As true as every written word in the Holy Scriptures is, He is not contained within those words.
Perhaps that is why so much of scripture teaches us how to live while we are awaiting His complete revelation to us.

Let's look to the latter part of the love chapter... 1 Corinthians 13: 9-13,

"For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."



I've stopped searching for those history and science books. Oh, we will learn about history and we will learn about science. We will continue to read all sorts of books and we will continue to wrestle with the greatest Book. While there isn't an ounce of me that believes that any Truth is relative, we will search for Truth knowing we will sometimes get it wrong.

And we will be thankful for the Grace that covers us in the midst of the Truth we cannot handle.


LYMYWY,
Kara

#102-128 and counting...

nephews
water falls with swimming holes

boys jumping off of rocks

the aunt who swims with her clothes on so she could be with the kids

the other aunt who hikes so she could be with the kids

cousins who love to be with each other even though they hardly ever are

my god-daughter's laugh

time alone with my love

conviction
goals
unity

getting stuck on a scenic loop
having a family that forgives that we got home late
a dad that stood on the porch, gazing down the road, watching for our return

chairlifts
cheap flip-flops for sale at the top of the lift

an expensive camera
the sister who knows how to use it

bread made by my mother

gluten-free cake made by my mother-in-law (love) that would rival that of the best bakery

friends that gently nudge me on either side to keep me on the narrow path

new love being tested
old love that passed all the tests

having a home my kids want to go back to
having too many gifts to count just now

God loved Jacob